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So you might have seen the title of this and thought: thatās a weird question for Brad to ask out of the blue.
It stemmed from this Guardian article that I read on Tuesday afternoon over what was meant to be a relaxing mid-afternoon cup of tea, intended to calm me down after I went on a massive rant on Monday.
It did exactly the opposite.
I confess I didnāt make it through the whole thing after several attemptsāit just pissed me off too much.
Iāll give you a snippet as to why: it opens with a quote from a manager of a restaurant in South London. His name is mentioned to be Stephen āBoydieā Boyd, which annoyed me all on its own. But his explanation as to why heās banned under tens from his restaurant really got to me. He said:
āThereās a level of expectation that the world fits around the kids, the kids donāt fit around the world.ā
This is bullshit on an obscene amount of levels. Fair enough, itās your restaurant so do with it what you please. But to say that parents expect the world to conform around their kids is totally not my experience.
Every time we take our kids anywhere public, whether itās a restaurant, a coffee shop or even to some shops, itās painfully obvious that the world isnāt made for people with young kidsāand the world could not give less of a shit.
The amount of stuff we bring with us to a restaurant for a family gathering just to distract our three-year-old is ridiculousācolouring books, stuffed toys, fidget toysā¦and most of the time she ends the evening watching something on my phone anyway. Why do we do this? Because weāre so painfully, acutely aware of the damn staresāthe ceaseless gaze of the permanently miserable, cynical adults who seem to frequent whatever restaurant weāve dared to come to with our kidsāprobably the first time weāve had a meal out of the house in six months or more. These types of people are typified by this quote from the articleās author:
Ultimately, the pro-kids side is probably outnumbered by the legion who like children in principle, but feel they have done their time at the coalface.
Imagine thinking being āat the coalfaceā is having a meal with no children at your table; no crayons, lidless felt tip pens or stickers strewn across your table, no constant demands and cries for attentionāoh, but you have the unbearable misfortune to hear someone elseās kids in the same room as you.
Sure, if someoneās been there and done it with kids and are now left with an empty nest, of course theyāre going to enjoy child-free time more often. But they canāt expect everyone else in society to militantly ensure that their kids donāt dare to make a sound in their general vicinity. Children are part of society tooālike it or not.
No oneās asking these people to look after or entertain someone elseās kidsājust to have a bit of sympathy with the parents who want nothing more than for their kids not to bother anyone else.
I feel like parents of young kids are constantly bending over backwards to make sure that weāre not perceived by these joyless wonders as āthose parentsā every time we deign to set foot outside our homes. We donāt want anything from these establishments, other than a bit of patience and for their awful patrons to mind their own damn business.
But no. Letās ban kids from restaurants. Letās let the people who have all the time and space in the world to fritter away in eateries and coffee shops have more, and the parents who just want a change of scenery for once in a while have less.
Ahem. Sorry, I may have slightly biased the debate here. But I am genuinely interested to hear your views hereāam I missing some more complex part of this argument? Should there be more child-free spaces? The floor is (finally) yours.
This reminds me of plane debate that pops up every few years when some poorly thought out article is written about giving "goody bags" to others on the plane to apologize for flying with kids.
Every adult was once a child. Without children there is no future for society. How exactly do we teach kids the proper was to behave in society if we ban them from participating?
As for the goody bags on planes. Why should I apologize? We are the ones traveling for the better part of a day with toddlers in tow to go to a funeral or family function. If I could avoid the plane, I would. Sometimes it just is not possible.
Final point. You are correct on the world not revolving around kids. I have noticed this is especially true for my wife. I get a pass, generally speaking. She gets the dirty looks.
As the father of two girls who frequents restaurants with them - and gets a lot of joy out of it - I think that restaurants should be able to do what they want when it comes to allowing kids. There are lines - Iām not sure where exactly they are and it may shift depending on the type of place - where kids shouldnāt have the same experiences as adults. Kids are not little adults.
If Iām out with just my wife celebrating an anniversary and thereās a family next to us with kids (likely on devices) with the volume up, I donāt think that restaurant will get my business again for that type of meal.
Same goes with dogs in restaurants for that matter. And ironically I think that statement will draw more heat than saying kids shouldnāt be allowed in certain restaurants.
Although they sometimes scream so loud I can't hear my thoughts, I'm not bothered by sitting next to families with small children in the restaurants. I believe we should let them have fun, experience eating in restaurants early and not ban kids from most of them, yet I think it should be decided by that place's owner(s).
This reminds me of plane debate that pops up every few years when some poorly thought out article is written about giving "goody bags" to others on the plane to apologize for flying with kids.
Every adult was once a child. Without children there is no future for society. How exactly do we teach kids the proper was to behave in society if we ban them from participating?
As for the goody bags on planes. Why should I apologize? We are the ones traveling for the better part of a day with toddlers in tow to go to a funeral or family function. If I could avoid the plane, I would. Sometimes it just is not possible.
Final point. You are correct on the world not revolving around kids. I have noticed this is especially true for my wife. I get a pass, generally speaking. She gets the dirty looks.
As the father of two girls who frequents restaurants with them - and gets a lot of joy out of it - I think that restaurants should be able to do what they want when it comes to allowing kids. There are lines - Iām not sure where exactly they are and it may shift depending on the type of place - where kids shouldnāt have the same experiences as adults. Kids are not little adults.
If Iām out with just my wife celebrating an anniversary and thereās a family next to us with kids (likely on devices) with the volume up, I donāt think that restaurant will get my business again for that type of meal.
Same goes with dogs in restaurants for that matter. And ironically I think that statement will draw more heat than saying kids shouldnāt be allowed in certain restaurants.
Although they sometimes scream so loud I can't hear my thoughts, I'm not bothered by sitting next to families with small children in the restaurants. I believe we should let them have fun, experience eating in restaurants early and not ban kids from most of them, yet I think it should be decided by that place's owner(s).